


The Round Table is No Place for a Boner, Harry

by anarchycox



Series: Kink Triptych [4]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Harry Hart is a Little Shit, Inappropriate Erections, Merlin is a Little Shit (Kingsman), Sexual Fantasy, badass agent running away from a pretty girl, fantasties, imagined knife play, pretty girl debates killing badass agent, roxy is confused, unexpected sexual feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-21 16:27:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14918840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchycox/pseuds/anarchycox
Summary: Ever since Harry found out Roxy was a dom and liked to be called ma'am, he can't stop picturing her, it, what it might be like. He has the worst thoughts at the absolutely worst times. And can't stop calling her ma'am. He thinks hiding under his desk is pretty much the best option at this point whenever he hears her footsteps.Roxy is kinda worried her boss is having mini-strokes or something the way he just blanks out when they talk.





	The Round Table is No Place for a Boner, Harry

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [【翻譯】圓桌之下不立劍，哈利 The Round Table is No Place for a Boner, Harry](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15627927) by [sandykill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandykill/pseuds/sandykill)



> yup, after the hints in the previous triptych, harry and roxy needed their own triptych

_"Mr. Hart, whatever are we going to do with you?"  Roxy said and made a tsk tsk in her throat. She stood up and walked around her desk. Her suit was different, only the blazer with no shirt underneath, and an ankle length skirt with a slit cut high enough he could see the leather strap on her thigh that held a knife. She was wearing strappy stilettos and a red red lip. Harry crossed his legs to hide his erection._

_"I don't see why we have to do anything with me," Harry countered. "I have done nothing wrong." He smiled, "that you can prove."_

_"Oh I don't think I'll need proof," she said and her smile was a lot sharper than his. She ran her hand up her leg where the slit was and incredibly slowly pulled the knife out. "Because, Mr. Hart we both know you want me to punish you." She leaned forward and rested the knife against his cheek. "You want me to make you sorry, you want to beg my forgiveness. You want me to give you absolution." The knife slid down his cheek. "You want to go to your knees for me don't you?"_

_"Yes, Ma'am, desperately," Harry whispered, cock aching._

_"Prove it," Roxy said._

"I'm sorry Arthur, but you have no proof," Roxy said.

"Huh?" Harry blinked and realized that he wasn't in Roxy's office, he actually had no idea where her office was in the building, which he was certain was a problem. But the current problem was he had blanked out during a table meeting of all the agents, discussing a mission he wanted to happen. And now he had a hard on and had missed a great deal of conversation. "I mean ma'am?" Harry said and Merlin kicked his chair. "Agent, forgive me but I rather thought phase one of this mission was about gathering proof of my suspicions based on data collected by Lamorak and Gawain?" There that saved it.

Only Percival was looking at him, and that was not a good look. That was not the look of an employee to a leader. That was the look of an uncle staring down a creeper.

Which apparently Harry was now.

He was mostly sure the table was hiding his erection. He kept it together for the rest of the meeting and then Roxy just had to linger. "Sir, is there a problem?"

"Not at all, Agent Lancelot," Harry said coolly. "Why would there be?"

"I just...I don't mean to question your leadership, I just like all my t's crossed."

"Good day, agent," Harry said and when she left he started to bang his head on his desk. "Blood go back to where you belong," he told his body.

"Would have thought mission budget conversation would have killed the erection," Merlin said and Harry realized he wasn't alone.

"I kept staring at her neck," Harry said. "It is such an elegant neck."

"It is, I suppose," Merlin agreed.

"I didn't notice until you and Eggsy and your stupid sexual tension," Harry muttered, head still on the table. "Merlin, you need to kill me."

"She had a knife in the fantasy, didn't she?" Merlin snickered. "You always liked women with knives."

"I will send Eggsy to Siberia."

"Her knife work is above average, if that helps you any, incredible fine motor control. Ye will only bleed if she wants you to."

"How does that help me?" Harry shouted.

"Well erection is nice and strong again at that thought isn't?" Merlin said. "Wank shouldn't take long once you are back in your private office."

"Fuck you," Harry said.

"No, Eggsy and I have that schedule for the blue bedroom for about 10 minutes from now," Merlin replied. "Her knife isn't kept on her thigh though, but the small of her back."

"How did you -"

Merlin smiled and whistled as he left the meeting room. Harry hurried to his office and it wasn't five minutes before he was coming in his pocket square.

**********************************************

_"Ma'am, I'm so sorry," Harry said. He had to spit out the blood that filled his mouth afterwards. He was thankful that he hadn't lost a tooth, just cut the inside of his cheek. He was sure he looked a mess and she looked like an angel._

_"Oh, agent," she crooned, "There is nothing to apologize for, I would always come for you." She untied him and in a blink spun and shot the bad guy coming through the door. "You are bleeding."_

_"It's nothing," he said. He pressed his hand to his side._

_"No, you need something," Roxy replied. She looked around the room but everything was filthy. She took off her Kingsman jacket and then her shirt. Her bra was rather inappropriate for the field, a sheer lace that barely covered her pretty pink nipples. She pressed her shirt to his side and made him hold it as she put the Kingsman jacket back on but didn't button it. He kept seeing flashes of her bra. Harry was rather impressed that he could get hard while in so much pain. "Can you walk?"_

_"Of course I can," he said. He stood up and managed a couple steps before he crumbled. "I'll be fine in a moment."_

_"I don't have a field kit," she said. She bit her lip. "You need an endorphin rush, something to make you forget the pain, to keep moving."_

_"What's going to make me happy enough to forget my pain in a hell like this?" Harry asked._

_Roxy sank to her knees in front of him. "I have a few ideas."_

_"You can't," Harry began._

_"You don't ever tell me what I can and cannot do," she ordered and undid his fly._

_"Yes, ma'am," Harry agreed and felt her breath against his half hard cock. He watched her lips move closer and closer to his cock and his phone rang_

"I will murder you," Harry snarled when he answered the phone. "I was having the best dream of my life and I will murder you."

"Sir? I apologize but we have a situation," Roxy said. 

"Do you wear lacy bras?"

"Excuse me?" Roxy's voice was a mix of shocked and angry.

Harry pinched his thigh hard enough to bruise. "Sorry, vestiges of my dream, nothing to do with you, Agent. Report."

"Sir, the labs test subjects escaped, and there is a wee bit of a crisis here at the estate."

"Why are you calling me about it and not the lab?"

"Because the lab is currently on lock down."

"Wait was this the human volunteers for the knock out drug?"

"Yes sir, turns out two had an adverse reaction. It didn't knock them out. It made them...frisky."

"Just stop," Harry replied. "I'll be in shortly."

"Thank you sir, and I do apologize for interrupting your dream," she said. "I do hope it was a pleasant one."

Roxy's voice whispered into his ear. "It was ma'am," he answered and the line was very quiet. He hung up and wanked for the 300th time ever since he had seen her as a human and not just an agent. And he was out of lube. At least while at the estate he could steal some from Merlin's office, the man had plenty stashed for Eggsy's visits.

**********************************************

_He was bent over the meeting table, his own belt binding his wrists behind his back. "You haven't been a good boy, have you Harry?" she said. He wished he could see her. No he didn't, he didn't want to see the disappointment on her face._

_"No, I haven't," he agreed quickly. Her riding crop hit his arse and stung. "Ma'am," he added. There was a second hit but it was softer. "I'm sorry, I forgot ma'am," he said. It was quiet and he could hear clothes rustling, and he thought maybe snaps or a belt being tightened._

_"5 hits for being foolish," she warned._

_"Thank you ma'am," Harry replied. The first landed and he whimpered. "One, ma'am." He counted off each hit and the cock ring grew tighter and tighter. He really hoped that his punishment wouldn't go all the way to not letting him come today. She hadn't let him come in a week._

_She came up behind him and ran her nails over the marks and he cursed. He got an extra swat for inappropriate language. "Oh, Harry, whatever am I going to do with you."_

_He turned his head to look at her and almost swallowed his tongue. She was dressed in her Kingsman suit, perfectly kitted out, the fly open and a pretty pink strap on was there. "Fuck," Harry breathed out._

_"Soon enough," she said. "On your knees, and suck," she ordered and Harry immediately dropped in front of the silicone and began to suck, looking up at Roxy who had one hand in his hair and the other resting the crop on her shoulder._

_It was just about to hit the back of his throat and he moaned_

"Oops, sorry Harry," Eggsy called as the football he kicked bounced off of Harry's face. 

Harry kicked the ball back to the make shift pitch where Eggsy had convinced a few agents and support staff to play a little footie.

"Ye really should be paying attention," Merlin said beside him.

"You aren't paying attention to anything but Eggsy's thighs," Harry snapped. His own kept straying to Roxy's arse.

"They are so thick," Merlin said happily. "Kind of like your dick right now?"

Harry looked at his lap. "Son of a bitch," Harry cursed and crossed his legs. "I'm in my fifties. Why has my dick decided to relive its good years?"

"I would say Roxy's rather pert arse running around there, would have something to do with that."

"Why are you looking at it?" Harry snapped.

"Because it is right there," Merlin replied. "I don't like women Harry, but I can appreciate aesthetics. You should ask her out."

"I am her employer, I can't do that," Harry said.

"Also the creepy perving? Figure she is already well turned off by you?" Merlin nodded. "Understandable."

"I haven't been that bad," Harry protested.

"I'll just pretend you didn't say that."

"I want her to do so many horrible things to me," Harry said. "I want her to hold me down and fuck me, and make me eat her out. I want her to smack me around a little and I want to thank her for each hit. I want to crawl across a room to lick her shoes, lick my way up. I want her to ruin me and then cuddle me."

Merlin looked at him. "Wait...cuddle?"

"I didn't say cuddle. I only talked about sex, throbbing, filthy, messy sex." 

"You said cuddle. Harry do you actually like her? Like like her, like her?"

"No," Harry said swiftly. "Why?"

"Because I can't take the piss as much, if you actually have affection and not just your dick in this."

"My dick is very affectionate," Harry replied. "And I want you to kill me now that I have said that sentence."

The ball came towards them again and Roxy ran over to them and picked it up. Her tank vest sagging and showing them a good bit of her breasts. Harry forgot the four and five times tables. "You sure you two geezers don't want to play. I'll get you to work up a sweat," she joked. Harry stared at her thighs, golden from her recent vacation.

"I have to go," Harry said and ran back to the estate.

"Is he okay?" Roxy asked Merlin a little worried, "He's been a bit odd the last few weeks?"

"He has, but it will get sorted one way or another," Merlin said. "Roxy?"

"Yeah, Merlin?"

"You do like men, correct?"

"Why you and Eggsy looking for a threesome?"

"No," Merlin replied.

"Thank christ, that would be weird and wrong. But yeah I like guys well enough. Generally shag girls, but known to hit on the right sort of guy."

"And if I knew the right sort of guy for you?"

"Oh yeah?" Roxy stood there with the ball. "What's the right sort of guy you figure?"

"I'll tell ye soon enough, go rough up Eggsy some more, so I can soothe his sore muscles in a little bit."

Roxy gave him a wink and kicked the ball back into play. Merlin watched Eggsy's thighs.

**********************************

_Harry pushed into Roxy and her cunt was so tight and wet and was better than he could have imagined. They were in his bed and she had been edging him for hours until he had grown so frustrated that he broke the rope that had him tied to the headboard and rolled them over until his held her down and pushed in. He bit her neck as he thrust and she cursed him out and begged for more._

_He thought about being cruel and denying her as she had been denying him, but he already felt the pressure building in his spine and it would all be over soon. He wanted it to last forever. Her in that torn black dress that had hugged every curve, ruined under his fingers. Harry kept thrusting into her, her cries pushing him harder and harder._

_He froze under the nails that scraped down his back as he couldn't hold the orgasm back anymore -_

"Well if it makes you look that dazed then this is definitely the right dress for the mission," Roxy joked as she stood in Harry's office. Her and Andrew had been working on her wardrobe for the mission and she had known Harry was right upstairs and figured a second opinion wasn't a bad idea. "It's good. Sexy, but not like standing on a corner slutty right?"

Harry stared at the little black halter dress that dipped well below her breasts. He managed to nod. "It looks like it will suit the mission well." Roxy turned and showed most of her back. "Yes," his voice was choked and he was grateful he was behind his desk. "Ma'am it looks perfect."

Roxy flushed, the heated look in Harry's eyes and the way he said ma'am was rather distracting. "Okay then," she said thanks. "Thank you sir." 

"Of course, Roxy," he said.

Oh and hearing him actually call her by her name, that was different too.

She bit her lip and looked at Harry for a moment before heading back down to Andrew.

Harry locked the door and wanked yet again in his office.

*********************************

_Harry's tongue pressed against her clit, the perfect amount of pressure as he gently licked. He loved licking her there, watching her, feeling her writhe underneath him and she loved indulging his love. Roxy gripped the headboard to stretch her body out. "More," she said._

_"Yes, ma'am," he agreed and pressed two fingers into her and licked again. His fingers moved at a steady rhythm and his tongue kept those slow perfect strokes going._

_The orgasm was building through her and she babbled at him, told him all the things she wanted to do to him, have him do to her, impossible things, lovely things, hard things. All the things._

_His tongue stroked faster and his fingers filled her and_

"Oh fuck!" Roxy yelled as the orgasm she had from her dream woke her up. She was gasping, her underwear soaking wet and her body still tingling. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck," she said until her heart rate began to slow. 

She reached for her phone, still barely awake and still on the high of the orgasm. She hit the buttons. "I had a sex dream about Harry," she said when Eggsy picked up. 

"That's fascinating my dear," Percival replied. "But I am unsure why you felt it was important to share that with me?"

"Eggsy?" she begged, willed it to be.

"I do believe you mis-dialed and that you and I are going to pretend this moment never happened. Good night my dear," Percival said and hung up.

Roxy threw her phone across the room and buried herself under her blanks. She had a sex dream about Harry and accidentally called her godfather and told him all about it. She wanted to die.

God she was so wet. Over Harry. She slipped her hand into her knickers and brought herself off again, whispering Harry's name as she did it.


End file.
